Letters from Slick Willie

Contributed by Bill Kille - 73571.1405@compuserve.com


An e-mail notice, signed by one "Brian Epstein", appeared on the Delaware Valley Miata Club mailing list announcing that Dave Thomas, ex-DelVal President, and his band were going to be playing at one of the local clubs in the Philadelphia area. The letter went on to say that any saying the words "Hakuna Miata" at the door would be admitted for half price. Shortly after, this series of letters signed by "Slick Willie Clinton of Washington, DC, appeared on the list.

We're not sure if there's any relationship to anyone famous.

RE: White House to Epstein

Was certainly glad to hear about Dave's band going on world tour. I've been looking for a good excuse to get out of town and this sounds like it could be a real rip-snortin time. Please keep us in touch with gig dates and locations. I'm pretty good at the sex, excuse me, SAX, do you think Dave would mind if I joined in and jammed with his group? I know I don't own a Miata but I used to have a Mustang. Funny story - A while back I attended a a Mustang meet down south and found the owner of my old Mustang and he agreed to let me drive it. The secret service guys were going over it and darned if they didn't find my old draft notice in the glove compartment. Isn't that something??? Anyway, do you think you could get me in at half price also??? I'm really trying to keep expenditures down. (or maybe even for free!!!)
Keep in touch.

Slick Willie Clinton, Washington D.C.

RE: White House to DelVal

Sorry I couldn't make it up to Philly last night to hear Dave's Band. Really wanted to go but Hillary was in one of her moods and said the place would be full of Republicans and she is probably right. She's always right about everything!!! I had my sex, excuse me, SAX all polished up and ready to blow. Maybe next time!!! Hillary wants to know, and I'm sure all of your members want to know, is Dave's Band going to be playing at your 5th anniversary picnic??? I'm sure some of your group hasn't finalized plans to attend until finding out for sure... If I should be able to get up to your picnic will everybody get upset if the down draft from my helicopter blows dust all over their cars when I land? You guys will like my helicopter, I think it has a turbo or something like that, an awesome exhaust system, really loud, and a "one of a kind" paint job and my chopper guys really keep it waxed up real good. I'm glad I don't have to pay for the gas! It goes real fast, Hillary doesn't like it, says it messes up her hair when I put the windows down. I'll keep in touch.

Slick Willie Clinton, Washington, D.C.

White House to DelVal, Happy 5th

What a bummer! Missed your 5th anniversay party today. Had the chopper guys onstandby, had my thermos full of mint juleps and I borrowed a map from the National Archives that George Washington had used years ago to cross the Delaware. Got ready to go but Hillary had hidden my sex, excuse me SAX (there I go again, someone once told me that was a froidian slip, let me tell you rightnow and up front, I've never met, nor have I ever known a woman named Froidian and when I did she never wore a slip) Anyway, I didn't want to show up without my instrument. I can tell you now that your party is over that I had been considering inviting you guys down here to the White House for your anniversary shindig but Hillary said you'all would have so many cars that your would probably park on the grass, pee in the rose bushes, get upset if the cat left paw prints on your cars and leave beer cans laying around on the lawn. She mustthink you guys ain't got no couth! The secret service guys said your car alarms would overload our security systems. It's probably just as well we did'nt have the party down here as Newt Gingrich would have probably been on "Sixty Minutes" tonight complaining about all the Japenese cars in front of the White House. He's still mad at me cause I wouldn't date his sister years ago.

I heard you'all had a great time, great weather and a great turn out even though, or because, Dave's band didn't show up. I'll try to get up your way one of these days and we can party down and spin some wheels together.

Slick Willie Clinton, Washington, D.C.

And finally a response from DelVal member Mike Garozzo...

Dear Mr. President:

On behalf of all of us who attended the 5th Anniversary of the Del Val Miata Club, let me say how disappointed we were that you did not attend. We kept lookout for your helicopter and were disheartened when another look-alike chopper passed slowly by (we think it was our Channel 6 crew filming our event). We saved you some cake but after we realized that you were not coming someone else ate it. You would have enjoyed the speeches by our president, Andi, even though she slurred some words (you've had that problem too). Vince Tidwell, our Miata national president paid us some very nice compliments (he is from down south so I'm sure you all would have gotten along). You missed out on some great door prizes. Hillary would have loved the Miata puzzle. It would have given her something to do while you practiced your sex. Newt would have been welcomed too, even if he has something against Japanese cars. He should be told that they were designed in California, named from the German language and loved by Americans. An all around USA legal immigrant meeting at Washington Crossing State Park. The majority colors of the Miata are red, white and blue with black, yellow, silver and burgandy thrown in. Do we mirror America or what? Did I say sex before? You know I meant sax. I wouldn't kid you. If you want to double check you can ask Andi. She knows the difference. So, sorry you couldn't make it. Maybe next time.

Mike Garozzo

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